How to Avoid Chinese Internet Dating Scams
Internet dating is big business. There are an ever increasing number of online dating sites where Western men can meet beautiful Chinese ladies looking for Western husbands. While I know many men who have found their dream Asian wives through some of these dating sites, there are plenty of men who have had big problems with scams and time-wasting ladies. Read my article about Chinese dating scams and prepare yourself before you go looking for that dream Chinese wife or girlfriend!
First of all let me say that despite the scams and the time wasting ladies, it is entirely possible to find a good woman through one of the Chinese or other Asian dating sites. Do not be too discouraged by what you read here!
What is the Safest Way to Meet a Chinese Lady?
Here’s the surest way to finding a good Chinese lady who might make a wonderful wife:
If it is at all possible, move to Asia! If you live in China or Hong Kong then your chances of finding a Chinese wife are vastly improved. You’ll also avoid anyone who is looking for a green card or visa. Chinese people conduct a lot of their personal and professional business though their networks. If you move to China then make friends with Chinese people and get them to recommend an honest lady who wants a Western husband.
In fact I’m about to do this option myself.
It’s quite straightforward to move to Asia if you don’t have too much baggage at home. A lot of Western companies have offices in Shanghai or Beijing, so maybe you could put in for a transfer. An alternative route is to spend a year or two as an English language teacher. Native English speakers are much in demand in China. You’ll have much better chances if you speak English or American English as a native speaker, and have an academic background (i.e. a degree).
Another possibility if you’ve got a bit of cash in the bank is to go and study Chinese in China. Many Chinese Universities offer short or long term language programmes – you’ll generally pay less than $3000 a year in tuition fees. Studying at a Chinese University makes it much easier to get a residency permit. Of course you’ll also find it vastly easier to find a Chinese wife if you can actually speak the language!
China is also a possible retirement destination. The cost of living in China is low, and quality of life is increasingly good.
If you can’t spend an extended period of time in Asia, then consider using an Introduction Agency. These are very common in Thailand – an example is Thai Professional. Sadly it says a lot for Chinese business ethics that I cannot recommend a single Chinese Introduction Agency. If I find an honest one I will post their details here! Likewise if you’ve found a good Chinese introduction agency then leave comments below.
Another option is to go on an escorted tour of China. There are several American companies that run tours of China in which you can meet dozens of beautiful Chinese ladies looking for Western husbands. If you are good with body language and comfortable chatting up women face to face then this could be a good option. I don’t know enough about this method of meeting Chinese ladies though. What I would be particularly wary of is the quality of the women they arrange for you to meet on these trips. I’m talking about the ladies and whether they are serious about marrying a Westerner. How many of the ladies on these trips are just along for a good evening out and the chance of a few free drinks and dinner? Furthermore because of the cultural and especially the language barrier, I’m not sure how successful this sort of trip would be. If you’ve ever tried one of these trips, then post comments below and let us know how successful it was.
Which Are the Safest Dating Sites to Use?
If you really want to go down the online dating site route, then be careful which dating site you use.
The Cupid Media sites such as Chinese Love Links are the most highly regarded. They have good facilities for checking the identities of their members, although sadly far too few members have verified profiles.
The owner of China Love Match works tirelessly to keep his site scammer free. Check it out – this site is one of the biggest secrets in Chinese online dating.
You’ll see plenty of Internet reports that Chnlove is full of scam ladies and fake profiles. Many of the girls are below the legal marrying age in China, so why are they even on the site? If you don’t hide your profile you get bombarded by girls who might not even be in your specified age group. You also have to contend with rogue Chinese marriage agencies. I don’t recommend Chnlove at all. Although it’s per email fees seem low, they very quickly add up. I spent more than $400 on Chnlove and I only contacted around a dozen ladies. Sure I did actually travel to China to meet a girl I met through Chnlove, but she turned out to be a time-waster. I’d have been much better off using Chinese Love Links.
Chinese Kisses, Asian Kisses and Cherry Blossoms might be worth looking at, but use more caution on these sites extreme caution. I know men who have met decent Chinese ladies through Cherry Blossoms. On the other hand my Chinese ex-girlfriend was playing all sorts of games behind my back on Blossoms, and while complaining about her dishonest behavior did get her banned for a week, her profile was soon reactivated. Blossoms also has plenty of Filipina ladies who have lied about their nationality. Search for Japanese ladies on Cherry Blossoms and you’ll mostly see Filipinas. You have to wonder what other details the members of this site are lying about.
Finally remember that ALL dating sites have scammers on them. Even the dating giant Match.com gets targeted by scamsters these days. I run a free Asian dating site here, and I’ve had to build some phenomenal defenses to keep out the scammers.
Time Wasting Ladies
Identifying scammers is usually quite easy. Time wasters are a different matter.
I was speaking to a friend of mine who runs an international dating agency with an excellent reputation. He told me that 80% of the ladies who ask them to find them a husband are rejected as being unsuitable for marriage to a Western gentleman. 80%! Guess where these ladies usually end up? Yes you’ve guessed it – dating sites!
There are a lot of time wasters on dating sites. Identifying them isn’t very easy, although on my dating site Asian Love Connections, I’m working hard to work out which are the best members for you to contact. Obviously one good thing to avoid is anyone who hasn’t been signing in regularly to their account.
Beyond that, just accept that women are fickle creatures no matter which country they’re from.
Men are also time-wasters, which is why so many Chinese ladies say “no games players”. Not only do the women on dating sites have to put up with men who are already married, but they also have to put up with jerks who have read The Game and think it’s OK to play dumb psychological games on lonely women.
There is only one surefire way to avoid the time-wasters – use an Introduction Agency or word of mouth from a Chinese friend.
In general here’s a few pointers for identifying Internet dating scam ladies:
- If a lady asks for money she’s probably a scammer (although it’s reasonable to send her some money to help with your travel arrangements to meet her).
- Ladies who complain about not having enough money or their life being hard are probably after a green card or visa.
- Avoid anyone who doesn’t want to see you on webcam. This is the 21st century after all and there are probably more Internet cafes in Asia than there are in the USA!
- Avoid anyone who doesn’t send you recent natural photos of themselves. Believe it or not many people in China do actually own digital cameras and cameras with phones. Yes they are fairly expensive, but they are affordable. Chinese people generally love having their photo taken, and you’ll find that most Chinese ladies have at least 10,000 photos of themselves at home. ALL OF THE CHINESE GIRLS I’VE DATED HAVE OWNED DIGITAL CAMERAS.
- Sometimes the translator you’re using on a site like Chnlove or Asian Beauties could be a scammer. This is difficult to detect. I heard that one time a guy went to meet a lady in China. It turned out the translator actually wanted the guy for herself, so she was telling the guy that the girl didn’t love him, when actually she did!
Please remember that the majority of Chinese ladies on dating sites are from the lower middle – upper classes of society. They will have jobs as teachers, doctors or be self employed and have a small convenience store or something. Many will have college or University degrees. Factory workers or impoverished farmers are pretty rare on Chinese dating sites. Salaries in Shanghai, Beijing or Shenzen are much higher than cities in the central Chinese rust belt (Wuhan, Changsha etc.)
Ladies with Sexy Photos in Her Profile
You’ll no doubt see many Chinese or other Asian ladies with sexy photos in their online dating profiles. It’s not that common for Chinese ladies to post sexy photos, it’s normally more of a Filipina thing. When I found my Chinese ex-girlfriend’s sexy profile on Cherry Blossoms I was very angry with her – I certainly didn’t see that side of her. To her credit though, the photos landed her a rich American man with a big house. Ha ha ha what a sucker. Make sure you don’t fall for that one.
I’m in two minds about whether you should go for the ladies with the sexy profile photos or avoid them. One reason that the sexy photos are posted is that it makes it much more likely for a girl to find a husband on a dating site. See we men are very shallow. On the other hand Chinese ladies are normally fairly conservative, so sexy photos don’t sit very easily with traditional Chinese culture. Such photos also throw up the possibility that the woman is an exhibitionist or has narcissistic traits. Such a woman would NOT always make a good wife.
Look – I run an Asian dating site. The site is quite new, but I’m already seeing a good relationship between sexy photos and the likelihood of that member being a scammer.
So what are we men to do if we want a Chinese wife? I still think Chinese ladies would make good wives – but finding a good one is going to be difficult.
The biggest mistake Western men make when looking for a wife in Asia is to think it is the easy option. Do not make this basic mistake! Finding a wife in China or another Asian country is fraught with difficulties. Don’t be seduced by the beautiful oriental ladies you see on dating sites! Think with your head and read, read, read everything you can about Western/Chinese dating or you could end up with a big hole in your bank account and some pretty horrible emotional stress.